The Onion bashes Luke Walton – good stuff.
The countless flaws in Luke Walton’s game… include playing a slow, hindering style of offense that relies on ruining pick and roll plays; clogging up lanes with an ungainly lumbering stride on the transition; and making slow, drifting passes to double-covered players.
I also like this one about Kobe.
Lakers fans showed real spirit after winning the 2009 NBA crown by pillaging and looting. Congrats! ”We’re #1! We’re #1! We’re #1!”
More coverage here, here, and here.
I finally figured out where Kobe’s weird new underbite stink-face comes from…
That’s right, Bubba from Forrest Gump! ”Pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp…”
Even Dirk looks better doing it, despite his Hasselhoff-esque Baywatch jog… That’s just sad.
OK, just kidding… it was Stan Van Gundy. OK, just kidding. I’m going to be sick…
You know what? I liked Game 3 much better.
Yes, we’re bitter. Prior to Game 3 of the 2009 NBA Finals, Phil Jackson admitted to ESPN that Gasol should have been called for basket interference, meaning that Orlando should have won Game 2.
Watching this makes me want to throw up. Let’s move on.
Kobe’s key turnover at the end of Game 3 of the 2009 NBA Finals made our day. He showed the usual end-of-game selfishness both during and after the play that makes him way overrated in the clutch. Also, the Lakers suddenly decided to revert back to the non-defense-playing team they are at heart, allowing the Magic to shoot 64% from the field (WHAT!?!?) and letting them back in the series.
Our favorite highlight of the game? Derek “Washed Up” Fisher getting posterized by superrook Courtney Lee:
As Bill Simmons mentions in his 2009 NBA Finals Game 2 diary, 82games.com has some interesting stats about Kobe, among others, in game-winning shot situations. Going back to the 03-04 season, here are Kobe’s stats in game-winning shot situations:
FGs: 14-56 (25%)
FTs: 12-15 (80%)
So basically, he’s about as effective as Stephen Jackson at the end of games, and he NEVER passes. No wonder Hedo Turkoglu was able to block him — he was quadrupled team and still decided to shoot it. Nice teamwork, Kobe. Let’s watch that again:
The best part is how he throws his hands up at the refs crying for a foul, followed immediately by a close-up replay showing how clean it was.